Handling Emotions

Surgery is such a difficult thing for little ones to handle.  Even more so when that little one struggled with anxiety, fear, and self-esteem issues before the surgery.

The other day when Kelli and I were talking she told me that she didn't like herself.  I tried to get her to explain what she meant and why she felt that way, but either she didn't want to talk or she didn't know how to articulate her thoughts.  She has said such things before, and it seems like no matter how much I try to reassure her that she is wonderful just the way she is, that she is loved and accepted, it hasn't boosted her confidence.

So many things seem to trigger fear in her.  Seeing doctors or nurses.  Mentioning appointments.  Medicine.  Being picked up.  Bath time.  If I'm not sitting right beside her.  Using the potty.  When we were at the pediatrician's office this afternoon for her follow-up appointment, he said that her muscle spasm medicine also helps with anxiety.  We've only used it once for muscle spasms the first day after she was released from Sinai Hospital, so the doctor suggested that we consider starting her on it again for awhile to help her deal with the anxiety and fear.

I feel terrible, helpless - that as a mother I am unable to alleviate her anxiety and calm her fears.  I want so much to make everything better, but I am limited in what I can do.  I keep praying that God will step in to comfort her and heal those broken places that only He can reach.